… by a nasty cold virus. Literally. Just like a cold virus gives you a cold, this virus gave me a cold and a case of the nasties.
Over the past couple of weeks Cameron’s become a bit of a difficult child at daycare. I joke that while he turned two in January he just became a two year old. It’s nothing out of the ordinary for a child his age, but it’s a bit of a surprise for poor Lori, who is used to Cameron being a very mellow little guy.
Something shifted him out of being okay with being left there. I don’t know what. He cries and screams when I leave. I think he knows I’m not really going to work!
But beyond that, he’s been fighting off a cold. I figured it was one he caught from me, or me from him, or something. Last week he got what looked like pink eye, though the doctor blamed it on the cold, and a minor ear infection. No antibiotics, let’s just see how this plays out – a treatment I’m totally on board with.
Last night I caught a look at myself in the mirror (odd how rarely I actually look at my own reflection, I’m realizing that my eyes just slide off myself most of the time, but that’s a matter for another post) and the person looking back at me had positively demonic eyes. Blood red. I backed away. Demon-me backed away. I half expected her to blink or move her hand independent of me. I barely slept, wasn’t in pain … just uncomfortable. Woke with eyes feeling goopy and swollen, though they didn’t look odd, even the colour was back to normal. All day I’ve felt like screaming, strangling someone, freaking out. On the verge of tears. Half wishing a certain someone would call so I could yell at him (not like I’d even answer the phone at this point though). There’s been a buzzzz of stress disproportional to the real stress in my life all day. Mind you, I made it worse, felt awful so wasn’t seriously job hunting, watched the last half of a very stressful movie (Children of Men), and of all things watched the first part of Dr.Phil. People bickering over a will. High drama, whining, woe-is-me stuff that gets under my skin quickly. Oh, and an online friend has had some rough times, and I got all wrapped up in the result of this, my mind just could not let it go. But my realization is that no, this stress isn’t really what I’m feeling. Whatever this evil virus is, it’s not an ordinary cold. I don’t feel sick exactly … just off. Snarly. Irritable. Not quite me. With basic cold ickies.
At least I can do that. Step away and see that really I’m not that stressed. It’s just an effect of having a little virus using me as a replicator. But imagine Cameron? He probably feels just as off as I do, just as grouchy, but hasn’t got the maturity to keep it under wraps. So he acts out. Hits Mommy. Cries when he doesn’t get what he wants. Wants unreasonable things. Apparently he was better today at daycare, and I did notice that overall the evening went well. Maybe he’s getting better and I’ll have my sweet, mellow, easygoing little guy back.
And virus or no virus, I adore him. He dozed off in my arms while nursing tonight, and I didn’t wake him, just watched him sleep. Of course he woke up when I put him in bed, and stayed awake for well over an hour, but that’s okay. Maybe he’ll actually sleep until morning this way!