What DO I want to be?

It’s been a week now since my five-plus hour interview for the research manager position. I know full well that these are academics who don’t need someone immediately, but come on. It doesn’t take this long to assemble the opinions of the interview ‘committee’, read them, discuss them, and hire someone. Except that I know it does, sometimes. I’m just impatient.

But it’s time that I started to consider the possibility that they’re going to go with the other candidate. Which means it’s time I started back at the job hunt.

Now, this position asked for a BSc (MSc preferred) in biological/life sciences, with some research background and some management background, if I recall correctly. Darnit, I didn’t save the write-up. Keep in mind, this is a management and professional position at a university, so that would reduce the number of potentially interested people right off the bat. But still, out of all the applicants they did have I stood out, that was made very clear to me. I had a stronger background in research, from what I understood, than any of them.

So in theory I should have a pretty good chance at getting a similar position, eventually, elsewhere.

Except that while browsing job postings, I’m feeling like a bored adolescent. “I don’t waaaannnna do that,” is my invariable response. So what the heck do I want to be when I grow up? Is this just a phase I’m going through while I wait for the reality of my current situation to sink in: single mom, unemployed, no industry experience?

I think it’s maybe time for me to try some career counseling. Surely UBC’s got something like that for its alumni. Heidi suggested I try the Y’s career counseling, but it honestly sounds like basic personality testing and suggestions of career paths for someone just starting out. I’m not. I don’t want to toss away everything I’ve worked hard on and start again. I idly fantasize about being a midwife someday, but right now going back to school just is not a possibility.

In the meantime, it’s time for me to suck it up and just send out my resume wherever jobs I could do show up.


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