I didn’t call him.
He called me tonight, and … I actually answered the phone! He wound up coming over for a couple of hours to visit. Normally I wouldn’t be okay with that, if I’m considering a ‘dating’ or ‘relationship’ I would want to have it be me and him before I introduce Cameron. In theory. But he’s already met and played with Cameron. I also wouldn’t ordinarily invite a new guy over to my place, for safety reasons, unless he had ‘references’ (knew friends of mine, or something). But my downstairs neighbours knew what was up, and I’d met not only this guy but also some of his family. So I felt pretty secure.
It was a nice visit. We took turns reading the stories that Cameron requested, then chatted for a little while after Cameron went to bed.
I decided to do something I normally find very hard. I made myself be honest. Not that I lie compulsively to friends or steal or cheat. What I mean is that it’s very hard for me to be me around a new guy, and when a guy is interested in me I find it hard to tell him exactly what I’m feeling if it isn’t exactly what he wants to hear.
So I told him, straight up when he very clearly stated that he’s feeling the sparks and is interested in me, that I’m hesitant. I even explained why as clearly as I could, though I glossed over the Adrian-experience factor.
So we’re going to just see how things go, hang out sometimes, no pressure, be friends. With the possibility of more down the road.
So, gold star for me. Well, maybe not gold, after all I didn’t call him. Silver? I took two big steps tonight. Not only did I not hide when he called, I also practiced emotional honesty.
(alright grammar-types. Is it enquiring, or inquiring? Whups, spellcheck doesn’t like enquire, so it must be inquire)