Why My Son Was Peeing on a Bush

I’m not normally a big fan of public urination. I’d never ever think of dropping my drawers and squatting beside a bush, and am disgusted by seeing guys taking a leak on whatever wall they happen to come across should the need arise. It didn’t really bother me much more than a simple “Yuck” before I had Cameron – now we rather often find ourselves in places where either I’ve seen someone pee in a doorway that Cameron wants to go into, or a phone booth he wants to play in reeks.  Kids? Okay, they can’t hold it, but if there’s a toilet nearby they really should head for it. Today, though, I had Cameron watering a bush by a bus stop, with a gas station (and toilet) just a short hurried walk away. Why?

We got off the first bus, just in time to see our connection zoom past. Fine. Fifteen minutes wait, no big deal. We played at being farmers growing wheat for the turtles. Don’t ask. Ten minutes in, Cameron announces he has to pee. Indeed, the kid’s pants are already displaying wet patches. Fine, so we get to the toilet, he’s sitting there while I tuck his sogged underwear into my bag with the pants he’d wet through at daycare. “I don’t have to go pee,” he announced. I knew better, so we waited until he managed. Great! Out we go … to see our bus zooming past.

Okay, darnit, but these things happen. We play, though I’d lost my enthusiasm. I could see the bus a few blocks away when a wee voice next to me goes, “Oh! Oh! Gotta go poo, Mommy, I have to go poo now!” He wasn’t kidding; by the time we got to the toilet there was a brown smear on the inside of his pants. So that bus zoomed past while we were in the washroom.

Fine. Fine! A 45 minute wait when I was anticipating no wait, I can cope with this. He played. Until the bus was again visible.

You know what’s coming, right?

“Have to pee, Mommy!”

So yes. I pulled down his pants and he peed on a bush.

We made it on that bus.

I want a car.

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