My get up and go kinda got up and went. I’m wiped right out tonight. No adventuring tonight, no “let’s try a different route home,” it was just a get home kinda night. I need to work out some way that I can get housework done, get Cameron outside, and get Cameron to bed earlier. His daycare has eliminated naps, so he’s quite tired by the end of the day. But I have a habit of leaving him in the tub for too long, while I get some things done, and then he starts to whine because he’s tired but doesn’t know it (or won’t admit to it), and then I start yelling because there’s nothing that frustrates me more than him whining.
So, tonight, recognition of happinesses is in order.
Playing hide and seek with Cameron at Plenty. He’d been hiding on me, but I was trying on shirts so didn’t go find him. While I was finding fault with the body wearing the clothes in the mirror, he came back to find me. I “hid” behind a pillar, making sure he saw me. Later, time to go, and I played at letting him stay hidden as I followed him around a clothing rack, wondering loudly, “Where’d he go? Where .. have you seen a little guy, orange hat? No? Hmmm, where oh where could he be?” The giggles grew and grew until he couldn’t contain them any longer, and he just rolled around on the floor belly laughing.
Sunshine in the back yard, garden growing, two boys jumping with me on the trampoline. We played “you can’t catch me,” where I sat in the middle, both of them dancing around. Slowly, they’d dare to get closer, closer, closer … until I snatched them both! Piles of giggles, dark hair, blond hair, arms and legs and little boys in a heap.
Surfing! Or rather, I was the wave, they surfed. Samuel and Cameron were rolling me from one side of the trampoline to the other. When the timing was right, I took off rolling myself, the boys tumbled onto me, and body surfed until collapsing into laughter.
Watching the boys go around the yard watering the gardens, hose set on mist. Still, they managed to soak each other. Maite and I sat on the lawn, chatting.
Stairs, landing, and entry way are clean. Hall closet sorted, shoes no longer in a jumbled pile on the floor. Winter mittens and hats tucked away, sunscreen and sunhats are now in the basket. The hall is tidy and vacuumed. There’s that nice “clean” scent to prove that I worked hard.
Cameron fell asleep wrapped in my arms on the comfy chair tonight. I’m sad – he was upset, he knew I was upset, but didn’t know how to make things right. So I could comfort him this way. Once he was mostly asleep, I gently pulled him up to nestle against me, and softly told him, “I’m not mad any more, Cameron. And I still love you. I still like you. I always will, nothing will ever change that. You’re my love, my jellybean, and my blueberry. Sweetest blueberry on the mountain, and I picked you.” As I tucked him into bed, he gave me a sleepy, relaxed hug, and said, “Love you, Mama.”